Carpe Carp

I saw this article on the Internet one day and wondered what the fish would think if they were surveyed. I took some liberty as I often do and answered the questions for the carp. The carps answers are in red.

GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. (WOOD) - A new EPIC/MRA poll released on Thursday indicated that the majority of Michigan residents are concerned about the Asian carp's progression toward the Great Lakes.

41% of the Michigan residents polled have heard or read a lot about the Asian carp. 31% had heard or read some, 19% only a little, and 9% nothing at all. 100% of the Asian carp polled had heard of Asian carp.

After the issue was explained in the poll, 93% of respondents were concerned, with 73% very concerned and 20% somewhat concerned. 6% were not very or not at all concerned, and 1% were undecided. 100% of the Asian carp were not concerned about progressing toward Lake Michigan although 100% of them were concerned about the electric barrier idea. 60% said that barriers should be erected between the Mississippi River and Lake Michigan to stop the carp. 15% said that no barriers should be erected, and 25% were undecided. 100% of the carp said that the fence should be erected in the Rio Grande since they don't swim down there right now.  49% of respondents said that the federal government should spend money to fight the carp and 37% said the funding should be left to the states. 14% were undecided. 100% of the Asian carp said that the federal government should not get involved fighting against them and under no circumstances should they be deported back to Asia and that they should be given amnesty. The poll sampled 600 people and has an error of plus or minus 4%. An unknown amount of carp were sampled, smoked, and then eaten.



If you would like to see the real article click the link: http://www.woodtv.com/dpp/news/michigan/poll-93-concerned-about-asian-carp

Now these fishermen have found a novel way of dealing with those pesky carp.

Leon, fighting for native fish since, well, since I wrote this blog.

Paula Deen Shall Rise Again and So Shall Her Dough

A little tift between Anthony Bourdain and Paula Deen has now gotten my attention. Here is the link:

http://tv.yahoo.com/news/anthony-bourdain-slams-paula-deen-diabetes-announcement-142036628.html

I plan to address this issue in Leon's court.

All rise for Leon's court. (You may be seated unless you already were seated, in that case you don't follow directions very well, do you?) Leon's court is now in session. The plaintiff: Anthony Bourdain has a problem with Paula's southern fried style, high calorie, fat saturated cooking. The defendant:  Paula Deen is Food Network's grandma of goodies who just let the world know she has been suffering from diabetes for three years or so.

Well Anthony just isn't a fan of Paula is he? And that is evident by his comments made on Twitter. "Thinking of getting into the leg-breaking business, so I can profitably sell crutches later." (Well isn't he a tough guy?)

Let's hear from the plaintiff first.

Anthony: "Paula's constant indulgence of butter, fat, and sugar are a bad example for Americans to follow. This promotes heart disease and diabetes."

Paula: "I never told America to eat this style of cooking for every meal. Ya know, ya don't visit Hawaii everyday do ya?"

Anthony: "How often do you warn people about the dangers of constantly eating like this?"

Paula: "I'm not their mothers, my audience is grown adults who are smart enough to know the word moderation. They also can make their own dietary choices."

Anthony: "You see your honor, this is why I call Paula the most dangerous person to America."

Paula: "Get a life, Anthony."

That will be enough from both of you. Anthony you are out of line for saying Paula is the most dangerous person to America. The most dangerous person to America is an elected official. Now Paula, maybe you could do a new show directed towards healthy cooking too. I think you need some balance.

I have thought about what both of you have said and I am awarding Paula with a verdict of not guilty. One because I believe people have to be responsible for their choices and secondly my mother is a Paula fan. I am not sure Mr. Bourdain if my mother watches your program, but I could be wrong.

You go girl!    

All rise. This ends Leon's court.  All rise. Paula you may cook with caution.

Judge Leon

Images: Yahoo Images

And the Real Maverick Is?

John McCain

When Sarah Palin ran with Mr. Maverick (John McCain) in 2008 I didn't like it. McCain claims to be a maverick but his voting record shows otherwise. McCain (I hope you're not a Scot, cause ifin you ur you have bin embarassin yur clan) the only kinda of maverick I would compare you to is a 1976 Ford Maverick.

Ford Maverick                                                             Fighter pilot McCain

Boring and boxy at best.  A maverick is the one who leads the charge even if it is to certain doom. Any one wonder why Ford Motor Company was almost bankrupt in the late 70's? Just look at that beast, ugly. McCain maybe you were comparing yourself to the Mel Gibson character Maverick. (He might mean he gambles with his votes or maybe when the C-Span cameras are turned off the politicians play Texas Hold 'em, I'm just not sure) I do respect your military service and the fact that you were a POW and for that I believe you should be honored ( I salute you) but as a politician you should step it up a little bit like your ex buddy, Sarah Palin has lately.

Now Sarah could teach you a few lessons in Maverickism. Check this out below:
http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/cutline/sarah-palin-slams-newsweek-giving-conspiracy-kook-writer-175811299.html

Sarah spoke out against the article that Andrew Sullivan wrote entitled, "Why Are Obama's Critics So Dumb?" Well I will let you the reader decide if the article is worthy to read or not, however I will ask a tough question for the so called free press people here, "Why are journalist so dumb when they write about Obama?" (Did he threaten to take your pen and pad away?)

            Mel as Maverick

Sarah Palin

America, who can't like a woman that talks tough (Not like a sailor though), can kill, gut, and cook a moose? I am not endorsing her, but boy is she a fun politician (Feisty!). Remember to exercise your right to vote in November and for you people in Chicago I say, "Vote early and vote often" the rest of you just vote once like you are supposed to. (If you live in Chicago you know what I mean, wink, wink)


Images by : Yahoo Images

Leon

Blog Quality

I have been asked to increase the quality and decrease the quantity of the blogs to increase reader enjoyment. I am here to show you that I listen. I will blog five days a week starting next week. I guarantee to make this the best blog available on the Internet. The more feedback that I get the better this baby will be. I encourage both positive and negative feedback.

So as George Bush once told the terrorist, "Bring it on!"

Yours truly,

Leon

He Can't Believe in the Power of Tebowing

It seems no one can leave Tebow alone not even the atheist, so I will help out my buddy Tebow again. I have taken some excerpts from the article below and added my take on things, I Leonized it.

Click if you dare:
http://www.thepostgame.com/blog/daily-take/201201/tebowing-and-tebow-talk-hits-atheist-community

(Tebowing) This is a nod to the atheist or humanistic belief that it is man -- not a higher power -- who is purely in control of his fate. Silverman is Tebowing to his fellow man. (Ohhhhh! Mr. Kotter may I address the class? Well, Mr. Atheist if man is in control of his fate so much, let me see you turn the sun off, or stop the planet from rotating. I would like a longer summer and a shorter winter can man fix that up for me?)

"The universe has a trillion stars (And many knuckleheads)," he says. "Ninety five percent of it is dark matter. It's hubris to think the Creator (Why did you mention Creator?) of all that wants the Broncos to win a football game." (What if God did want the Broncos to win, prove to me He didn't. What if he just wanted you to pick on Tebow so I could blog about your unbelief. Hmmmmm! I wonder if I found the article by chance?)

So Silverman calls Tebow a "victim" because of the quarterback’s belief that "he's not doing it -- God is doing it through him." Therefore, according to Silverman, Tebow is "brainwashing himself." (Well Mr. Silverman aren't you brainwashing yourself by saying there is no God, over and over, and over? Just maybe you are the victim Silverman. When did you decide that there is no God, in a moment of disappointment of a life event or was it when you found out that you couldn't be the Bronco's quarterback?)

  Even Hitler has something to say about Tebow.

I believe if you want to be an atheist, be the best one you can be but don't try to bring down someone else's beliefs because they don't work for you. Make an argument based on facts Silverman. If one takes the time to really examine the facts about the universe I really think that you can see that someone of great intellect created everything. There is a Law for everything and the universe works in an orderly fashion. Now, whether the Broncos win or not that is laid out by Laws too. Football is a game of skill, technique, and planning I should know I played the game for 11 years. You break the Laws you don't win the game.

Leon, See you next year Tebow

Images from: Yahoo Images
Tebowing from: Tebow
Football: A gift from God

We Could Use a Guy Like That

A lot of people don’t like Russia’s Vladimir Putin because of his brash behavior. I kinda find him refreshing. I like political figures with gumption. He also has a cool name. (Sort of Dracula like, say it with me Vladimir, make sure to emphasize Vlad and say it with an accent) I wish he was running for President in our country. I wonder if we could trade the Ruskies a couple of Democrats and Republicans for Putin, probably not. I think the only thing any one would trade for those guys is a old Desoto and an autographed picture of Gomer Pyle. (Maybe the Cubans would be interested?)

Gomer Pyle                                                                           Desoto

What’s there not to like about leader with a black belt and who is not afraid to use it once in a while. I don’t share his views of shutting down the press because he believes that the press should be controlled by the state. (Death before state controlled press) Men were born to be free thinkers Mr. Putin. We have a God given right to say anything that we want to. No man or state should stop another man from exercising this right. Without opposing view points progress never happens. (Anyone recall the Dark Ages?) Why do you think the Japanese use quality circle so much? (They tap each others brains)

Hey Vlady, in martial arts you learn to take punches just the same as you give them, politics are no different buddy.  Use the irritant to make a pearl. Sometimes you are to tense, learn how to relax a little bit, what I recommend to you is get some Chuck Norris movies and a pizza, sit down one Saturday night a month with your ole KGB buddies and reminisce of the Old Iron curtain days, but please don't bring them back.

       Chuck Norris                                     Putin                                                                           KGB

Click here to see Vlad in action (He sort of acts like what Dirty Harry would act like if he were President):

http://www.theatlantic.com/infocus/2011/09/vladimir-putin-action-man/100147/

Go ahead Vlad, free that press!

Leon "Not Trotsky"

Beat You Inside and Black and Blue Too

Obama and Romney excited about stopping at McDonald's

Both boys were so excited about stopping at McDonald's they could hardly wait for the secret service to escort them to the play land. If they play nice America maybe some one should get the boys a sundae.




Leon

Image: Drudge Report