Titanic and Oreos

I thought it would be fitting for my 100th blog to be about a hundred year anniversary of something. It just happens to be the hundred year anniversary of two major somethings. Read on good people.

What do the Titanic and Oreos have in common? Well let me tell you. First off the RMS Titanic was sunk in April 15th, 1912 (100 years ago). Look at the illustration below to see how the Titanic was sunk. 

I know Godzilla didn't sink the Titanic but I couldn't pass on my chance to revise history like some publishers are trying to do with America's history, plus it is a cool illustration.


Hey, wait a minute I just realized there is another sinking that happens each and every April 15th in America. Anyone care to guess what sinking I am talking about, anyone, anyone, Bueller? That's right, taxes.  My audience is so smart, that's why I keep you kids around.

Sorry got off track. Well the production of the Oreo started in 1912 too (100 years ago). How yin and yangy is that? A terrible tragedy and a human achievement in the same year, both still live on after all these years, one in our memories and one in our mouths. I was hoping to find a picture of Godzilla eating an Oreo but I couldn't, I guess he eats rice cakes instead (He is Japanese, I saw the sub-titles). Since I couldn't find Godzilla I asked another celebrity to talk about Oreos for me.

Cookie Monster

"What you want me to do with this garbage? Me want some Triple stuffed Oreos right now or me is going to hurt someone!" 

OK, OK here are your Oreos CM. Take it easy and enjoy. Now since this is the 100 year anniversary of both events maybe it is fitting for all of my audience to take a cruise and eat a bag of Oreos. If you take a cruise make sure it isn't crossing the Atlantic.

Leon

P.S. This blog is actually number 101

Images: Yahoo Images

Feels like 1984

Yeah, the government has created another agency. I just love this line below

It is the most powerful federal agency you’ve never heard of -- and lawmakers from both parties on Thursday vowed to keep abreast of its astonishing growth and rein it in, if necessary. Since when has anything in Washington ever been reined in? The government is a gold digger and the tax payer is the 90 year old on life support. I think drunken sailors practice more restraint than the federal government does.

The Office of Financial Research, or OFR, was created by the Dodd-Frank financial services overhaul that President Obama signed into law in July 2010. Technically housed under the Treasury Department, the agency has until now received its funding not from the Congress, but directly from the Federal Reserve. This last statement is amazing. A government agency housed under the Federal Reserve is absurd to begin with since the Federal Reserve is a private bank. Funding for government agencies is supposed to be controlled and authorized by congress not a private bank.


Starting in July, the OFR Fiscal Year 2013 budget, estimated at $158 million, will be funded entirely through assessments -- also known as taxes -- on bank-holding firms with consolidated assets worth at least $50 billion.

If the Federal Reserve can collect taxes, I'm sorry a branch of a private bank can collect taxes. I know what I am going to do. I am going to start a private bank and start loaning money to the Federal Government at lower rates than the Federal Reserve does now. Good news banks I am only going to charge half of what the other guys have been charging you, not only that I am giving away free pens. Did the Federal Reserve ever give you bank CEOs free pens?

But as became clear at Thursday’s hearing by the House Financial Services Subcommittee on Oversight and Investigations, a close reading of the law the president signed provides no limit on the growth of OFR’s budget, nor on the taxes the agency can impose on big banks to fund it.

“We’ll call you on it,” said Rep. Michael Capuano, D-Mass., warning what would happen if he and his colleagues see the agency growing too large. Why is it allowed to grow in the first place?

Yet the Congress’ prospects for doing that are at present limited, as it holds no power of the purse over OFR. Detractors call it "the CIA of financial regulators,” and conjure "Orwellian" visions of "an omniscient Soviet-style central risk manager."  For those of you who do not know who Orwell is click here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Orwell

The agency’s official mission is to collect financial data and funnel it to another Dodd-Frank creation: the Financial Stability Oversight Council. These agencies were designed with the idea of preventing another systemic shock of Lehman Brothers magnitude. The same bozos that helped create the 2008 financial meltdown are behind this. Why should we trust this new legislation? If President Clinton and a few others would have some insight when he was still in office about who should own a home and who should not the chances of 2008 would have been greatly reduced maybe even eliminated.

“You're able to tax corporations without any oversight by the U.S. Congress,” said Rep. Steve Pearce, R-New Mex. “Our Constitution is pretty clear, and so if we're a little scratchy on our side, just understand it's because you're conducting things that we feel like are completely unconstitutional.” Don't you just love that line? Man up buddy and take care of business, don't be a jelly fish.

Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2012/04/19/new-federal-agency-ofr-stirs-orwellian-fears/#ixzz1tHxDnogQ

Leon

Images: Yahoo Images

My Endorsement of Brady Hoke

Sooner or later a fan must endorse their team's leadership. Well I am in with Hoke. Brady to show you how much I am behind you, I wrote this little song. The song below is a parody of the Brady Bunch theme song. Hey, It just seemed right, so what the heck!

Here’s the story of a mighty team
Who had suffered three bad seasons in a row
All of them had helmets, with wings of gold, like no other
Their winning record stands alone

Here's the story of a man named Brady
Who was coaching a team on the west coast
He had dreams of bringing the Big M all together
And he was not alone

Till the one day when David hired this fellow
And they knew that it was much more than a hunch,
That this group must somehow form a family,
That's the way they all became Brady’s bunch. 
Their Brady’s bunch, their Brady’s bunch.
That's the way they became Brady’s bunch.

Brady Hoke

Leon, Bleeding Blue for a long, long, time

Images: Yahoo Images, Winning Seasons: Brady Hoke and Company, Breaking the yoke of the Spartans: Priceless

Truths About Freedom

U.S. Soldiers in Afghanistan

These guys die for freedom's sake,

Tax dollar wasting yahoos

and these guys abuse our freedoms for their own sakes.

See some of Jeff Neely's handiwork. It's quite impressive. Al Capone would be proud.

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2012/04/19/widening-probe-suggests-neely-wife-benefited-from-free-gsa-spending/

Al Capone

"Hey, if yuse can't trust the government, whose can yuse trust?"



America, please remember this stuff come November. We need to keep changing the people in Washington (both sides of the aisle) on a regular basis so all of them feel uneasy, maybe then we will get the performance that we are all looking for.

Leon

As I was perusing the Internet one night I came across this article:

10 Things to Never Put on Your Resume

Being the inquisitive person that I am, I thought I would read this article to see if there was anything I could glean from this piece for future reference. Well I was disappointed again by how people just throw things together for the sake of a deadline. If you look at that list below I think you would be prone to ask who in their right mind would do some of these things.

Maybe this article was intended for Charles Manson?                   

Excerpt from the article: For job seekers, the resume may be the most important document they need. After all, what's on that simple piece of paper can mean the difference between landing an interview and landing in the circular file. (True but is that really informative? I think most of us seeking employment know this)

While most job seekers concentrate on what theyshould include on their resume, few pay attention to what they shouldn't include. This article explores 10 things you should never put on your resume. (Reading this part got my attention)

A crazy objective

So you want to be the next Bill Gates. Terrific! And you may even have the chops to make it happen. But please don't put it in your objective statement. Outlandish, overconfident, or "out there" objective statements almost always ensure that the rest of your resume isn't read.

Irrelevant job experience

Sure, the summer after freshman year you spent as Harry's Hot Dog Hut mascot was the best ever. But unless you're applying to wear the Gorilla suit for the Phoenix Suns, leave it out.

Achievements that aren’t achievements

Being nominated prom queen is not an achievement. Nor is belonging to a sorority or fraternity. And that award you won in a competitive eating contest? That's right--not an achievement. Stick to professional and community service awards only.

Physical characteristics

Hiring managers don't care if you have "ripped abs" or "a smokin' bod," so please don't describe yourself that way. In addition, pictures should never be included with your resume unless you are an actor or model.

Strange hobbies

It's fine to include a hobby or interest or two, as long as they aren't the type to raise eyebrows. Avoid listing hobbies such as "knitting sweaters for my 12 cats," and "twisting balloons into animal shapes." Stick to less detailed and more generic hobbies, like "reading," "gardening," "mountain biking" and "playing tennis." And keep them to a minimum.

Private matters

Sexual orientation, religious and political affiliations, marital status, age, and whether you have children should not be included on your resume. Some of these things are controversial and/or irrelevant, while others may unwittingly influence the hiring manager. Leave them out.

Bad grammar and obscure words

Describing yourself as a "Verry detail oriented multi-taster" is likely to get no other response than, "Yeah, right" before it's passed around the HR department for laughs--and then tossed. And don't try to impress with big words. No one needs to know you are endowed with "sophrosyne," when "good sense" will do.

Unprofessional contact information

If your email address iscrazybeerdrinker@dummy.com, don't include it on your resume. Email addresses are free and most accounts allow you to get several, so either get a new, professional address or delete it from your resume.

Personal information

Your resume is no place for your social security number or other sensitive information. There's no guarantee that your resume will be kept in a safe, secure place, so don't include anything that could be stolen or used in identity theft.

Attention-getting tactics

Adding non-traditional elements to your resume will make it stand out--but not in a good way. Different font types and ink colors, glitter and other adornments, and brightly colored or perfumed paper--yes, every hiring manager has seen at least a few of these memorable tactics--are all no-nos.

http://www.salary.com/10-things-to-never-put-on-your-resume/


Now in true Leon form, I put together my list of ten things that I think you should never put on a resume, and here they are:

10. Food or beverage stains

9.  Girl friend’s phone number

8.  If you are a serial killer or not (Better for them to find out when it is too late)

7. Nazi affiliations (Put a wig on that shaved head)

6. Your preference between boxers or briefs

5. That you hate your father (Or that he is Darth Vader)

4. That you some times day dream about being a pirate (Unless you want to work for a bank or Goldman Sachs)

3. That you inhaled (Unless you are running for President)

2. Someone else’s name (Never let your split personality answer the questions)

1. That you have super powers that make you invincible (That only works for people in government)

I know that the list I created is ridiculous but I specialize in being ridiculous. I just wish someone would pay

me for my talents. Good thing I work cheap I only get paid if you click the ads in my blog. Too bad some of

the people writing articles on the Internet don’t get paid per click because if they did they might have

to quit their day jobs. Better brush off that ole resume!



Article: Salary.com

Leon

Let's Talk About Banks Baby...........

And How They Stick It To You And Me.

Well many of you know that I used to work for a major bank but that all ended last Friday. While working for the bank I didn't have the freedom to talk about the industry's vile practices, but now I can, ha, ha, ha.
Freedom!

Below is an article that deals with overdraft fees.

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/nine-u-banks-said-examined-040200096.html

The stuff in red is mine.

Nine major banks overdraft policies are under review by the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau to see if the laws that were enacted two years ago went far enough to protect consumers from unfair business practices.

Now read this paragraph carefully: While tighter rules could help U.S. consumers, they also could threaten a major revenue stream (poor babies) for banks already struggling to replace income pinched by new regulations including a cap on debit-card "swipe" fees. (Why don't they try and make money the old fashion way and earn it!) 

Last year bank customers paid $31.6 billion in overdraft fees, down from $33.1 billion in 2010, according to Moebs Services, a Lake Bluff, Illinois-based research firm. About 15 million Americans overdraw their accounts 10 or more times a year, the firm said. I hate the way this paragraph tries to defend the banks, it's like forgiving uncle Charlie for getting drunk and smashing your car just because he is an alcoholic. He still smashed the car, just like the banks are smashing the little guys with all of their stinking fees! Bank CEOs are drunk on fees because it fuels the profits that justify their ridiculous salaries.

"Smither's, release the fees."

Some of the overdraft fees that are being charged are as high as $36 each and even though you are charged a fee there is no guarantee that the item will be paid by your bank. Now that is just not fair! Well maybe I am being too hard on the poor banks. Maybe we should look at the overdraft fees as dues to an exclusive club. A club that sends it's CEOs on paid field trips (Like the Super Bowl, huh 24/7?) and showers them with lavish gifts like stock options and cash bonuses. Now I don't have a problem with people earning a high salary. I do have a problem when bonuses are being paid on profits, when 25-40% of the company's earnings are generated by fees and not from good sound business practices.

Here is another good line. "The banks are dealing with significant trust and image issues ( I wonder why after all the things that have happened since 2008), so they're trying to be seen as a partner," Wolfe said in an interview.

If the banking industry wants us to trust them again then they need to give us a reason to trust them and stop acting like pirates.

Leon, For fair and honest banking

Images: Yahoo Images

Throw the Lions to the Fans

 

Lions great Alex Karras has dementia, sues NFL

I think Lion's fans should sue the NFL for allowing Detroit to charge for tickets to their games all those years (1995-2010) when Detroit stunk. If Alex can sue the NFL for a head injury why shouldn't the Detroit fans be able to sue the NFL for emotional and humiliation damage? How many fans had to wear paper bags over their heads so that they could not be recognized on TV?

The Lions outside of last year have not really had a good team since 1995 when they went 10-6 under Wayne Fontes. Here is another interesting fact for Lion's fans. The Lions had two more head coaches than they did winning seasons from 1995-2011, six different head coaches and four winning seasons if you include the 8-8 season in 1999 as a winning season.

The team record in that time frame was: 95-178. With the team rebounding this year I would like to present the new team song hit it Frank.......

But with guys like this one

Detroit just might have a chance.

Image: Yahoo Images, Video: You Tube, Stomp by: Ndamukong Suh

Leon

Messing With the Prez

President Obama looking out the window down at America

" Ah the peasants. How should I start that speech again? My servants, I-I mean fellow Americans. Who wrote this, is Kutcher on Air Force One again?"

Obama's rendition of Hamlet

"Alas poor Presidency I knew thee well."

Obama celebrating another victory for socialism

"Why yes, I am going to take all of your rights away. Why do servants of the state need rights anyhow?"

Obama in a bad mood

"I don't wanna play any more! You people that like Liberty and Freedom, are hard to deal with."

Images from the Drudge Report

Leon

Why Your Child Needs Therapy

Scared of the Easter Bunny

Some people think it is funny when children have a bad experience with Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny and here are some photos showing just that. I know it's late but happy Easter anyhow.

Little Bobby with the I had too much to drink again Bunny

Sissy and Nathan with the I just got out of a session Bunny

Little Debbie with the I eat children Bunny



I figure if the parents of these children want to take pictures of their traumatized children with these freakish bunnies why not go the extra mile and take some pictures with these guys too.......

Now if one of these fine gentlemen is not available for your photo op parents, feel free to call Freddie, I hear he is available.

Thanks to MSN for the images of the traumatized children, to see more click the link:

http://moms.today.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/04/05/11022162-scared-of-the-easter-bunny

Images by: Yahoo Images

Leon

Tebow, Tebow

In honor of Tebow's departure from the Denver Broncos I decided in Leon fashion to send Tebow off in style. I wrote this little song for him. Here you go buddy, remember Leon's got your back.

Tebow, Tebow

Start spreading the news
Tebow’s leaving Denver today
Elway don’t want no part of it

Tebow, Tebow 

     
These old Nike football shoes
Elway didn’t want 'em anyway
Go make a brand new start of it
Tebow, Tebow

He’s goin’ play in that city

That doesn't sleep

Tim’s the king of the hill

Top of the heap   

             
These little Bronco blues
Are fading away
He’ll make a brand new start of it
In old New York

If he can make it over there
Tebow can make it anywhere
It’s up to you

Tebow, Tebow

Tebow, Tebow
He’s goin’ play in the city
That doesn't sleep
Tim’s the king of the hill
Second on their list
Take another leap
King of the hill

These little Bronco blues
Are fading away
He’ll make a brand new start of it
In old New York

And you bet Elway, baby
If he can make it over there
Tebow can make it anywhere
It’s up to you
Tebow, Tebow, Tebow

See Tim's new home city complimented by Frank Sinatra's New York, New York

 

Thanks Frank, I know you would have appreciated Tebow.

You go Tebow,

Leon

What Ya Talkin about Willis?

Kim Jong Un's picture from his high school yearbook

"Guess who was voted most likely to have a nuclear weapons program?"

One surprised baby

"The national debt will be what by the time I can vote?"

Baby genius asked to trade stocks for his parents

"You gotta be kidding me? This thing is older than Bill Gates." 

Mike Tyson asked to read a children's book

"You except me to read this thing? There ain't no pictures, just words. Who reads a book with just words?"

Images: Yahoo Images, Drudge Report, and MSN

Leon

P.S. I hope Mike never finds out where I live. Just kidding Mike. You can take a joke right?

What Ya Talkin about Willis?

Obama hanging out with the Russian

"Man, if only I could be as cool as this guy then the people would surely vote for me again. To bad my record speaks for itself."

Rick Santorum as proud as he can be

"Yes, I know my ABCs. Would you like me to say all 27 of them?"

Rick Santourm displaying the horse he drew on an Etch-a-Sketch

"People if I can draw a horse on this thing, don't you think I could run a country? Can any of you draw a horse on this, no! I didn't think so."

Rick Santorum drawing ponies on the Etch-a-sketch

"My running mate should be able to draw a pony on this. Does anyone want to try? Anyone, anyone, Buehler, Buehler?"

Newt Gingrich with his new running mate

"Well this guy can't do any worse than the people we have elected over the past thirty years. In fact I was really surprised by how much this fellow really does know about politics. He sure knows more about them then Obama and Romney."

Leon

Photos: Yahoo Images and Drudgereport

Who Wants to Be a Stormtrooper?

Stormtrooper Employability Test

Part I

Personal Background

Are you willing to travel?                                                                   Yes or No

Are you willing to relocate?                                                               Yes or No

Do you currently have life insurance?                                                 Yes or No

Have you ever been convicted of a felony?                                        Yes or No  

Do you have any allergies to latex or PVC?                                       Yes or No 
Do you suffer from seasonal affective disorder?                                 Yes or No
Can you bullseye swamp rats in a T16?                                             Yes or No
Would you have a problem with destroying your home planet?           Yes or No
Can you fly a Tie Fighter?                                                                  Yes or No
Are you willing to give your life for the Empire?                                  Yes or No
Will you work weekends and holidays?                                              Yes or No
Do you have a family history of murder?                                             Yes or No

Part II
Intellect

How far is the Kessel Run? _________________________________________

If an X-wing is traveling toward Tatooine at light speed and a Tie-Fighter is traveling away from Tatooine at cruising speed, when will they meet each other? (Show your math) _______________________________

A + Bx2= C Find the X-wing (Show your math) ____________________________________________

Is this Death Star number two, 1/2 or fully operational?          Yes or No

             

If a planet like Alderann blows up, not saying that it will but just in case it does happen and if no one is there to witness it, does the explosion still make a sound?                                                      Yes or No

Is the Empire's glass half full or half empty? ________________________________________________

Which of these doesn't belong

Part III

Career Information and Personal Goals

What qualifications do you have to be a stormtrooper? (Be specific) _________________________________________________________________________________

Do you have any living relatives and what is their political affiliation? __________________________________

Are these the droids you are looking for?                Yes or No

Where do you see yourself in five years?   __________________________________

Where do you see yourself in ten years?    __________________________________

How do you feel about the Sith?  _________________________________________

When is the Emperor's birthday? __________________________________________

Do you pull the arms off wookies or do they pull your arms off? (Give example of a recent wookie encounter) ___________________________________________________________

What is Princess Lea's last name?  ________________________________________

How good are you with a blaster? (Rate yourself 1-10, 10 being the best) ___________       

Who shot first Han or Gredo? ____________________________________________

Do you like boxers or briefs? _____________________________________________

What Color is your parachute? ____________________________________________

What is Obi-wan Kenobi's nick name? ______________________________________

Part IV

Essay  

What did you want to be when you grew up? ________________________________________

Why do you want to be a stormtrooper? ____________________________________________

Have you ever dealt with a Jedi, and if so, how did you resolve the situation? ____________________________________________________________________________

Why aren't you at your post? _____________________________________________________

       

              

Galactic Empire Recruiters