Badges of Honor

Written for women but fitting for men.

Well today I will be talking to women. If you are a man still feel free to read this blog because you have to hold your woman accountable for the information that I am presenting to her.

Let's face it women, men act like dogs sometimes. When you own a dog and throw the dog a ball to fetch they fetch the ball and bring it back to you and then expect you to say or do something to acknowledge the fact that they did what they were supposed to in the first place. Sometimes men are no different than dogs. Ladies this is why I have invented a new word and reward system to help build the man/woman relationship. Thank me later.

The new word is mandages. A mandage is a hybrid word, it is a cross between the word man and the word badge. These man badges i.e. mandages are to treated with honor and respect. The mandages are not to be given to a man without earning them for the simple fact we will not appreciate them. Women if you want the full effect of a mandage (the shock and awe) to take place as soon as your man has earned a mandage make a party for him and invite his friends and then place the mandage on the front door of the refrigerator. By placing the mandage on front of the refer door your man will see his reward every time that he goes for a cold one, scientist call this positive re-enforcement. He will also brag to his buddies.

To help you good women get started I have provided a few examples of mandages.

Errand Mandage

Earned for picking up shopping items on his way home from work because you forgot an item. He would get a double mandage if he has to pick up woman products.

Love Mandage

This is earned when your man points out to you that he chose you from all of the other fish in the sea. "Remember I married you but I could have married her." Warning to all men reading this: Make sure you don't smile when you point at that girl that is definitely out of your league. A small smirk will do, pig.

Manners Mandage

Earned when your man either compliments your appearance or corrects it. "You can't wear that to the game, where is the face paint I bought you?" 

Atta Boy Mandage

Earned for cleaning up after himself and or taking the trash out without being told (nagged). If your man even bothers to wash out the trash can once in a while that would earn him a double mandage.

Maturity Mandage

One way to earn this mandage is by your bo admitting that you are more important than golf and he won't buy any new golf equipment until you get a new dress.

Birthday Mandage

If he brings you a birthday gift and says happy birthday give him that mandage. Heck if your man even knows your birth date he should get  a mandage.

Sympathy Mandage

Do you remember when you were sick that one time and he said, "Are you going to be okay honey, by the way do you know where I put my work shoes?"  

I hope this will help build a strong bond between a man and his woman. Just doing my part to keep America strong.


Leon